Time

I don't know why certain thoughts come to me the way they do, but they do, none the less.  The other day, I was just thinking about the number of hours each day that I ACTUALLY get to spend with my kids.  Up until this year, I have been the one who wakes them up, gets them dressed, takes them to school, brings them home from school, does homework with them, lugs them to baseball or football or whatever season it is.  Now that I have taken on a more demanding job that requires more time away, I'm realizing how little quality time I get with them.

I still wake them up, get them dressed, take them to school and sometimes bring one of them home from practice.  But my husband is doing much more now because my work hours are typically later than his.  I no longer pick them up from school or take them to practice.  He does.  That's taken away about an hour and a half that I used to have with them. 

When I calculated, I think I am getting about 2-3 hours a day with my kids.  This doesn't count the hours they are at home, asleep.

This kind of breaks my heart.  It just made me realize that they are born, and before you know it, they're grown and gone.  And you get so LITTLE time with them between...

I don't regret my decision to be a working mom.  I don't regret my decision to have my boy in competitive sports that take up over 2 hours a day of their schedules also.  What I do regret are all the times I have had with my kids that I have not utilized to its fullest potential.  I regret yelling at the kids when they are taking too long to hurry up and shower and get in bed.  I regret telling them, "Not tonight, I'm too tired."  I regret getting frustrated when they want me to come tuck them in and give hugs and kisses because that means I have to go BACK upstairs and I just want to go soak in the tub.

I know every decision a mother makes can be criticized.  I know there are people who think I'm wrong for chosing not to stay home; that's their prerogative.  I know there are others who think stay at home moms are crazy for making that decision.  I think every situation is different and quite frankly, I don't think it matters either way what you decide.  What matters is that we have to remember that the time we are blessed with is very little.  It's gone in the blink of an eye.  I want to make it my mission to end the day with a smile on my face because it was simply a good day where I got to love on my boys a little while more.

Psalm 127:3
Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.