If so, my word tonight are for you. Don't give up. I have been battling some very dark demons for many years, often in the privacy of my own heart, alone and completely frustrated. There have been times when I felt so completely alone that I truly believed nobody in this world understands me. I have tried to flesh it out and found that I simply do not have the ability to do so. But. I recently had a major break through. I have found peace after battling for almost 14 years alone. Except I really wasn't alone. My God was right there walking with me, waiting for me to turn to Him and BELIEVE that He's got this.
When I was struggling to find a teaching job that would work with son's schedule and would be closer to home, my brother started having heart trouble again. (This is a blog in itself so I will write about him tomorrow). I was incredibly worried about him, worried about my job, worried about everything as I always seem to be. My husband bought me a new charm for my charm bracelet that says, "Let go. Let God". I used to say this all the time but realized I was not doing it.
As I looked at my charm last night after having some quiet time with God, I couldn't help smiling. For the first time, I was truly letting go.
And can I tell you, it is such a freeing feeling. The trust I have that my Father has got this allows me to joy of just basking in his presence. I am forever grateful for my God who is constantly pursuing me and never giving up on me. I wish everyone knew this joy.