Growth

Have you ever gone through a struggle, and as you were striving to overcome, you truly could not picture the light at the end of tunnel?  Have you ever been so overwhelmed and felt so inadequate that you really wondered if it ever truly does get better?

If so, my word tonight are for you.  Don't give up.  I have been battling some very dark demons for many years, often in the privacy of my own heart, alone and completely frustrated.  There have been times when I felt so completely alone that I truly believed nobody in this world understands me.  I have tried to flesh it out and found that I simply do not have the ability to do so.  But.  I recently had a major break through.  I have found peace after battling for almost 14 years alone.  Except I really wasn't alone. My God was right there walking with me, waiting for me to turn to Him and BELIEVE that He's got this.

When I was struggling to find a teaching job that would work with son's schedule and would be closer to home, my brother started having heart trouble again.  (This is a blog in itself so I will write about him tomorrow).  I was incredibly worried about him, worried about my job, worried about everything as I always seem to be.  My husband bought me a new charm for my charm bracelet that says, "Let go.  Let God".  I used to say this all the time but realized I was not doing it.

As I looked at my charm last night after having some quiet time with God, I couldn't help smiling.  For the first time, I was truly letting go.  

And can I tell you, it is such a freeing feeling.  The trust I have that my Father has got this allows me to joy of just basking in his presence.  I am forever grateful for my God who is constantly pursuing me and never giving up on me.  I wish everyone knew this joy.